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Be The Expert Of You

Writer's picture: Marta IreneMarta Irene

Updated: Jan 27



I asked a client how she took care of her skin. 


She answered, “I could take better care of my skin. I have to see a dermatologist.”


The conversation was an interesting one. She did not answer my question, but immediately went outside of herself for an answer: Seeing a dermatologist.  


She diverted the conversation from the issue at hand - her skin, and how she takes care of it, to something or someone outside herself.  


This is a common response in conversation today. I believe it’s because we are repeatedly taught to search outside of ourselves for the answers.


Have you ever been part of a conversation like this? Where you want to find out something because you are looking for more information, or want to help someone, but the listener evades the subject, or ignores the question? Or, perhaps, in past conversations you yourself have evaded the subject and ignored the question? It happens.


The question could be, for instance, “How do you take care of your body?” The answer given could be, “I start a new diet tomorrow.”  The question could be, “What do you do to make sure you fit comfortably in your clothes? And the answer given could be, “Girl, I haven’t gone shopping in years!”  My point here is how easily we opt to, or not, to be honest with ourselves.  How easy it is to deny “the real truth”, or “the real answer”. How easy it is to not accept personal accountability. 


I responded to my young client, “You may not need to see a dermatologist, you know.” And, I continued.


“They will most likely prescribe a medication that could be ineffective, or doesn’t get to the root of the problem, or may even have a side effect. You don’t need to see a dermatologist because he is not the expert of “your” skin. He may be the expert of skin in general due to his studies in medical school, but not ‘your skin’”.  And that’s because we are all different. What is good for one person may not be good for another. The way my skin responds may differ from yours.


And, who knows your body better?  Your doctor, or You? Yes, You live in it every day.  You look at it in the mirror every day. You dress it every day. Are you paying attention to your body? My client was a beautiful tall and brown-skin college student looking for answers. After our conversation was over she admitted it all made sense. And she thanked me.


Throughout life, from when we are young until we’re older, we are programmed and conditioned on what to think, say, or do. So much so, that we can’t think for ourselves at times.  We can’t come up with our own solutions. We no longer know how to find out what’s good or best for us. We are advised to go to an expert outside ourselves to find the answers. We have lost our natural sense of wonder and curiosity. We don’t look within our magnificent bodies for answers. We are told that all the answers exist, or are found somewhere outside of us.


Being the Expert of You requires effort. Being the Expert of You requires looking from within. It requires being curious, and a little more work than we are used to. Doing this work will help you discover many things.  You will live a better quality of life. You will learn healthier lifestyle habits. You will become a much happier person, and you will find that true beauty is the Beauty found from within.


So, get those shovels out and start digging deep within you!  









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