Updated: Oct 11
This was the title of Dr. Coco March’s podcast on October 21, 2022.
Dr. Coco March is a Naturopathic doctor and product developer who has an online presence along with a natural product line on VitaTienda.com. She is from Barcelona, Spain but resides in the United States and has a variety of nutritional and health-promoting products and information available to those seeking a different way to heal and to thrive. Below is my English translation recap of the Spanish-language podcast.
Dr. Coco March speaks with Dr. Angels Corcoles also from Barcelona, a psychotherapist from the University of Barcelona, and a transformational coach. Dr. Angels Corcoles worked as a child psychiatrist for more than 20 years at St. Joan de Deu in Barcelona, Spain.
On the subject, The Toxic Family, A Problem Affecting Society Today, Dr. Corcoles says, “There aren’t just toxic couples or partners. There are also many toxic friends, toxic parents, and toxic families. In the case of families, it’s imperative we analyze what is really happening.
Those types of families, parents in particular, do not allow their children to express their emotions. Whether they realize it or not, when doing this, they are causing much injury. They are in a way attacking their child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
Living in a toxic family, or being born into one with these negative characteristics, presents a very complex scenario and family dynamic. In that environment, children from a young age, learn not to express their feelings in order to survive within the family circle. They start growing a guilt complex whenever they don’t please their parents. In time, they start believing they are of little value and believe they are to blame for all the bad behaviors and attitudes that arise in their family.
Toxic parents hurt their children (without being aware of it) when they project their own unhealthy emotions toward them. This impoverishes the child’s delicate emotional framework.
At a social level, toxic persons have a skewed reality of a family unit with the unrealistic expectation that inner family affairs are never to be discussed with anyone, but instead are to be kept under wraps, private, a secret from the outside world. Children are not allowed any commentary on matters of the home environment to outsiders. As a result, children display a passive demeanor and fear they’ll be singled out or blamed.
What we are discussing here is how toxic parents direct constant emotional mistreatment toward their children - to the child’s harm. There are many families that live an unbalanced family life, not knowing how their behavior is affecting them emotionally and physiologically. All that matters to these parents is that those on the outside only see them in a good light.
How to come out of a toxic relationship
Anyone who lives in a toxic family suffers from emotional co-dependence. But there is a way you can leave that toxic relationship.
Here are a few examples.
1) Learn self-worth and improve your self-esteem;
2) Stop feeling guilty and don’t accept someone else’s guilt;
3) Establish boundaries so you can face those situations better;
4) Learn how to detect toxic persons in order to stay away or leave;
5) Learn to direct your own lives and know where you want to get to in life;
6) Learn the importance of self-love;
7) Choose what type of relationships are good for your wellbeing;
8) Know how toxic relationships impact your physiology.
You only have one body, and your body has a strong connection with your mind, your emotions, and its physiology. It’s important to clear away trapped emotions to improve your physiology.”
I translated the information on this podcast into English because I feel this topic of toxic persons and families is much more common than what we sometimes imagine. It’s impossible to live a healthy life when there is a parent or partner who is making us sick emotionally and are not aware they are causing that much hurt and harm. The good news is that there are many programs and organizations that can help bring balance to family members who have been the target of toxic parents or partners. And it is my hope they find these institutions and get the help they need in order to get well-balanced, and live a healthy, happy life.